It is not uncommon for couples, who are not in a formal or common-law marriage, to have children.  Even if parents have never lived together, both parents of a child will have certain rights and obligations in respect of their child or children.

Custody is the right and responsibility to care for a child. It includes the right to decide how a child will be raised. The law says custody should always be arranged in a way that is best for the child. Either parent can apply for a custody order.

Unless there is an order or agreement that says otherwise, as long as both parents are guardians of the child then both parents usually share custody of the child.  The mother is automatically a guardian of the child.  However, a father must have lived with the mother for one year prior to the birth of the child to automatically be a guardian and otherwise would generally have to apply to the Court to be appointed a guardian. 

Generally speaking, if there is no court order dealing specifying who has custody, the person will have defacto custody is that person is the child’s birth parent, has not lived with the other parent since the child was born, and the child is living with that person.

If you are the only parent with legal custody, you can arrange to share custody with the other parent, grandparents or anyone else who agrees to help you raise the child. The other parent may, however, apply to court to change the custody agreement.

Your right to custody of your child does not depend on how old you are. If you can care and provide for your child properly, you can be awared custody. If there is a dispute over custody, the court can decide the issue based on the best interests of the child.

Even if you have custody, the other parent will generally become the custodial parent if you should die, unless you both agreed in writing that you could name another person as guardian.

Access is the child’s right to visit with a person who does not have custody.  The child has the right to know and be a part of both parent's lives and even the live of the grand-parents.  If only one parent has custody of the child, the other parent will usually have access. A parent with access can spend time with the child and may also have the right to information about the child’s education, health and welfare.

If you are the only parent with legal custody, you can agree to give access to the other parent, grandparents, or anyone else who wishes to regularly visit your child. If you and the person who wants access cannot agree, the other person can ask the court for an order allowing visits with the child.  The Court will make access orders when it feels that it is in the best interests of the child - not the parent.

Usually , the courts feel that it is in the child’s best interest to have visits with the non-custodial parent, unless that relationship causes harm to the child. When deciding access generally, the court looks at whether it will be good for the child to have a relationship with the other person. It also considers whether the child knows the other person already. As in all matters concerning children, the courts consider the child’s overall best inerests.

In some cases, a parent is concerned that the non-custodial parent will harm the child. In these cases a judge can order supervised access, if it is appropriate. Supervised access means that visits with the child will be supervised by another person. The court can also put conditions on when and where the parent visits the child. A judge will not deny access altogether unless it is in the best interests of the child.

Child Support is money that one person pays to another person for the support of the child. It is meant to cover a portion of expenses for things such as food, shelter, clothing and other necessary items.

Every parent has a duty to support his or her child. If a non-custodial parent will not agree to pay child support, you can ask the court for help.  The amount of child support will depend on the non-custodial parent’s income.  The court can also order a father to pay some money to the mother for prenatal or postnatal care.

The law says both fathers and mothers must support their child, and both have legal rights and obligations concerning the child.

In cases where the identity of a parent is in dispute, the court can make an order legally recognizing a person as the parent of a child. A common way of determiing parentage is to hae DNA test dones.  If this is not available or can not be afforded, then a COurt can hear evidence sufficent enough for the Court to make a declaration of parentage.  This can include:

• whether the father was living with the mother when she became pregnant or when the child was born
• whether the person signed the birth registration as the father
• whether the person admitted in writing to being the father
• any other relevant evidence

Someone you later marry can adopt your child if:

the child lives with you and your spouse

you agree to the adoption, and

the other parent is notified and formally consents to the adoption

If the other parent will not consent, you can ask the court to allow the adoption anyway. In such a case, the court considers what is best for the child.

Parents must register the birth of a child with the Department of Vital Statistics. The birth registration does not give either parent rights to the child.

If only one parent registers the child’s surname, the surname will be the one chosen by the parent. If both parents register the child’s surname, but cannot agree on the name, the child’s surname will be their surnames hyphenated in alphabetical order.

The registering parent or parents may choose any name for the child’s first, middle or last name. However, the names must be written in the Roman alphabet, and the last name cannot contain more than two names hyphenated or combined.

Copyright (c) 2006 Dimnik & Company*
*Registered trade name of Michael J. Dimnik Prof. Corp